this is really not fair. i... i really dont know what to do anymore. i have nv ever been so angry in my life. i really cant take this anymore...
my life is screwed okay. my results are like fuck. home is like fuck. school is like fuck. everything is like fuck. and u noe wat, my whole life is screwed, thanks to just a particular individual. and its not only my life shes screwing up, shes screwing up all the people around me's lives too... like, wtf... one person, can cause so much sadness and betterness... i really dont know what to do. i really hate her, i detest her, and i really dont love her one bit. shes a fucking bitch, and i smile at every bad thing that is hurled at her. my parents are the worst parents anyone can ever have. really, i dare say that. why am i cursed with this unhappiness. i feel like taking a fucking shotgun and blowing up their motherfucking heads... and then i'll be super over joyed, even though i'll go to jail.
for fucksake, let me live my life lar, u noe, if i die tmr, i'll nv die happy, u noe why, cos all i did for 16 years is try to study. thats all. i really dont feel like blogging lar.
and i warn u, dont talk to me, u really dont want to, its for ur ownsake. leave me alone, and dun talk to me until u see my face on tv with the police bringing me in...
i try talking to her, she is the one dont wan to listen, and talk. she just shouts at me, i try leh. and then, suddenly she talks about all her fucking money problems, and this and that. why we keep spending and all this fuck. i really. i duno... i dun even wanna study anymore, i dun wanna do anything anymore, i'll just screw up my fucking life, if thats what she really wans from me, stupid bitch. one just 1% away from punching her dirtbag face and just leaving for good. i'll be more happy when im poor and no house to live in, at least shes not in my life. she just destroys all my plans, and spoils my happiness. i even take the effort to understand and forget about it, but she just goes to next level and makes things even more worst.
i wanna say sorry now, but its not my fault. its up to u wat u wanna do. i really have no more energy to do anything. its like sand, its solid, but i cant grip it... its there...but i cant hang on to it....just like my happiness... and really, i nv felt like this in my whole entire life... why, why must it all happen now. when i haf so much happiness around me, in me... for once i felt so loved... but u noe the irony, its not by my mum... i really dunno why to say alr. shes dispicable. but no matter wat, its not ur fault either, so i'll make things up. i noe its like, yar rite okay watever. but its better than nth, and even i myself cant express the magnitude of how i feel right now. this is anger and sadness i nv felt before. maybe when i was younger, but then i tot it would nv come back.
i really like robbing her fucking bank, cos like, money is all tt shes happy about. money moneymoney... i hate that word. and i hate her too.
love me/kill me/shoot me/hit me/leave me/hug me/kiss me/slap me/.... watever, do anything, its okay... watever makes u happier...
and for me, i'll just lock myself in the room and nv come out, cos my temper will blow up worst than a nuclear bomb.
so seriously, unless u wanna risk getting hurt, dont talk to me at all.... go away... cos being with me will just make ur life miserable.
CHOCOLATE ;;
5:18 PM <3